It’s been more than 20 years since Dr. Richard Ferber came out with his controversial book “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems”. At that time Ferber, who heads the Sleep Lab and the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorder at Children’s Hospital in Boston, told parents to let their child go through incremental periods of crying while trying to fall asleep. In other words, don’t pick the kid up, at least not right away. (Lee Degenstein, Correspondent at Large - HealthNewsDigest.com)
In addition, Ferber had some definite thoughts about parents sleeping with their newborns, or what he termed as bed sharing. In 1985 he wrote, “Sleeping alone is an important part of [your child’s] learning to be able to separate from you without anxiety and to see himself [or herself] as an independent individual.”
In a recent Newsweek interview Ferber said, “That’s the one sentence I wish I never wrote. It was describing the general thinking of the time, but it was not describing my own experience or philosophy”.
Over the years millions of parents, including this reporter, “Ferberized” their children. While we didn’t “bed share” all that much, we did let our boys cry for a time before racing in to pick them up. It worked with our first son but not so well with our second. Valium wouldn’t have worked with him.
Many parents over the last 20 years have voiced their opposition to this method, calling Ferber “The Sleep Nazi”. The term “Ferberizing”, which became part of the English language, was on the lips of nearly every new parent. This held true especially for the moms, who usually were the ones to get up in the middle of the night to comfort junior, while their husbands developed night deafness.
20 years ago it was common practice to let their infant sleep alone in a crib. It was accepted not to let your little bundle of joy into your bed. But like many beliefs, this has changed completely. According to a study released in 2003 by the National Institutes of Health, between the years 1993 and 2000, the number of parents who shared their bed with infants more than doubled. The survey also found that over a two week period more than 45 percent of babies spent some time at night in an adult bed.
In Ferber’s new book, “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems – New Revised and Expanded Edition,” released a few weeks ago, he writes, “What ever you want to do, whatever you feel comfortable doing, is the right thing to do, as long as it works.
Ferber believes that most parent child bonding should take place during the daylight hours. Parents, he says, should have a plan to get the kid out of their bed ideally in three months, but definitely by three years.
This is a pretty big change for Dr. Ferber which I suppose makes many parents feel less guilty. Letting your infant cry when it is alone at night in a crib is not the easiest thing to do. Knowing that Ferber now says it’s alright to have your baby in your bed is a comfort to many parents as well.
However, before you get too excited and guilt free, the American Academy of Pediatrics is not completely wild about the idea of bed sharing. While the AAP agrees with Ferber that no psychological harm may come to the child, great physical harm could occur.
The AAP found that the instance of SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, is greatly increased by bed sharing. Some 50% of SIDS deaths occur in a bed that is shared with a parent. Suffocation can occur from fluffy pillows. Parental smoking and drinking in bed is also cause for concern. While sleeping, parents have rolled over on their infant smothering it.
Ferber maintains that knowing your child’s needs is the key. If your child has separation issues during the day, they will most likely have trouble sleeping at night. If separation does not seem to be an issue, but the child is merely going through normal adjustments, then crying for a little while might be necessary for the child to learn to sleep alone. That’s all well and good, but knowing or recognizing an infant’s needs might not be the easiest thing to do especially in the case of young first time parents.
Alas, if these kids only came with instructions or even an owner’s manual!
Lee Degenstein is a Columnist at Large for HealthNewsDigest.com. He has covered the financial markets for print and broadcast media for more than 15 years. Mr. Degenstein was also the news director and morning anchor at two major radio stations in New Jersey. He has been a reporter/contributor to United Press International, The Associated Press, The Mutual Broadcasting System and New York 1 News. A former winner of the Associated Press award for 'best business story' he lives and works in New York City. Mr. Degenstein can be reached by email at:
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